Do You Feel Guilty for Living... When They Don't?

About five or so years after the loss of my son, I was lucky enough to start dating an empathetic, beautiful, powerful, and charismatic overachiever called Amanda. Amanda (fortunately), when calm, reverted to a more hippie-like and very affectionate deep thinker. Her days were full of drive and high energy, but, in one of her reflective muted moments, she asked me why I was feeling guilty about enjoying life now that I had retired. After much thought, the truth of it emerged, and as I recall, my answer went something like this…

"When you lose a child or somebody intensely close to you, the world does not make sense anymore; life’s natural progression and order have been upturned. You start to question the meaning of life and want to know what happened to their beautiful soul. I can’t fully explain it, but I just feel guilt for experiencing pleasure when they lost everything."

I can attest to the fact that, as time goes by, you feel less of that guilt and eventually do allow yourself the opportunity to feel some pleasure, but it still really does feel like the world has been turned upside down for an extended period of time. It is just a natural part of the healing process.

One of the biggest questions you keep asking yourself after a tragic loss is—Why was my loved one taken while I was left behind? I don't know if there is an answer to that question, but maybe it was so I could write Dance with Angels, produce a beautiful audiobook version of it and help others who have experienced loss?

It would be nice to think that that is a valid answer. Only time, reviews, feedback and whether or not I am able to get it into enough hands or listened to by enough people will answer that question. Do you feel you have found an answer to your own personal question like that? Please let me know if you have.
If you have read or listened to Dance with Angels, I would appreciate your honest feedback on the Amazon review page or on Goodreads..